Clapham Rovers

Match Report

Match Report - 22 Nov 2015, Clapham Rovers Clapham Rovers beat Invictus

Apologies for the late email this week. I was being wined and dined in an NEC Las Iguanas by work last night. I’m now sat in the Executive Lounge of the Hilton Metropole Birmingham, drinking free peronis. The glamour of the Rovers is gradually feeding it’s way into my professional life. #bangerz24/7/52/365
Tough game coming up vs Real Northern A this Sunday. We never have it easy against these boys so we need to start the game in the manner we started against Invictus and not switch off throughout the 90 mins. We always seem to give Real Northern a chance in every game we play against them. Whether it’s a stray pass, penalty or the ref disallowing a goal, we always ride our luck and never win the match as comprehensively as we should.
Rovers 3 – 1 Invictus
I believe this is the first time I have compared The Rovers to a session of S&M so bear with me.
Believe it or not, I’ve never been bound, gagged, spanked by a portly housewife and made to put pegs on my balls…and I can’t say I ever want to. It just doesn’t look like fun. However, for the person on the receiving end (excluding Matt Wright), I’m sure they pi55ing love it.
In a startling parallel, that’s how I will remember last Sunday.
Sunday was cold, the ground was half frozen, the pitch had large areas of gravel and we arrived a good 45 mins before the opposition. On a day where many footballers would’ve sacked it off after opening the curtains, the Rovers put in a performance of spirit, determination and love of the game worthy of England vs Germany in a World Cup Final. We pi55ing loved it.
You could argue that Invictus hadn’t bothered to get out of bed by the way they arrived at the pitch late and in dribs and drabs. We saw them drift over and knew that we had to catch them cold and that’s exactly what we did.
Within about 90 seconds we were 1-0 nil up from Smudger. A quick interception from myself and pass out to Goose saw him work the ball into the box for Smudger to ram home. We then sought to press home the advantage by pressing all over the field, forcing mistakes and attacking quickly. We created a whole host of chances but sadly couldn’t take advantage.
Our big chance came from another penalty award after Smudger had been felled but sadly the Rovers penalty woes continued. Horse this time kicked the ball into the ground and sent the ball bobbling wide. Milby, where art thou?
We went into the 2nd half still only 1 nil up. Invictus’s only chance had been where they ballooned the ball over the bar from inside the box after a quick free kick.
The second half saw us continue the match in much the same vein as the first. We were first to everything but still felt vulnerable with only the 1 goal lead.
The 2nd goal finally came as Charlie capped a fine performance in behind Shaun as his left foot shot went past the keeper and in off the far left hand post. A superb cross from Shaun and a magnificent cut back from Matt Wright had played him in.
Our 3rd goal came very quickly afterwards with Shaun taking the plaudits and sealing a fine blood and guts performance. He was like dog muck at a gypsy fair. Everywhere.
Invictus got a consolation from a long ball over the top which was chipped over Archie, who made a blinding debut in goal, and bundled into the net. By then though, the 3 points were completely safe.
Magnificent performance from everyone. Cannot be faulted 1-14. Shaun took the MOM for a displaying all the attributes of a Lionel Messi / Paul Dickov hybrid.

10 Teams Games
Played Games
Won Games
Drawn Games
Lost Goals
For Goals
Against Goal
Difference Points
Club Lixus
6 5 1 0 30 9 +21 16
Clapham Rovers
5 5 0 0 20 7 +13 15
London St George
4 4 0 0 13 2 +11 12
7 3 1 3 22 12 +10 10
Kings United
4 2 2 0 8 5 +3 8
Chelsea Town
4 2 1 1 11 8 +3 7
Cool Oak Rangers
7 2 0 5 14 29 -15 6
Real Northern 'A'
6 1 2 3 9 13 -4 5
Accrington Stanley Bowles
6 0 1 5 6 21 -15 1
London Titans
7 0 0 7 5 32 -27 0
Senior Amateur Division Fixtures 29.11.15
Club Lixus v Invictus
King's House W4 2RZ

London St George v Cool Oak Rangers
King's House W4 2RZ

London Titans v Accrington Stanley Bowles
Riverside Lands W4 2SX

Real Northern 'A' v Clapham Rovers
Riverside Lands W4 2SX
FA Sunday Cup
8 4 028 Victoria Cross v London St George [ Round 2 ]

Gladys & Bob Perry Challenge Cup
2 0 012 Parthenope v One Brotherhood [ Round 2 ]
Wandsworth Common SW18 3RL

Senior Amateur Division
1 3 Accrington Stanley Bowles v Chelsea Town
King's House W4 2RZ

6 2 Club Lixus v Cool Oak Rangers
King's House W4 2RZ

1 3 Invictus v Clapham Rovers
Wimbledon Common Extension SW15 4SS

Invictus 1 - 3 Clapham Rovers Clapham Rovers ()

Name Goals Details
1 Ollie Buckingham  
2 Romauld Augustin  
3 Nathan Booker  
4 Andy Carswell  
5 Ryan Cerenko  
6 Joel Cleary  
7 James Daly  
8 Dan Endara  
9 Juan Endara  
10 Chris Godwin  
11 Adam Hibbert Bamford  
12 Jimmy Joyce  
13 Graeme Keenan  
14 Chris Kew  
15 Gaz Lloyd  
16 Dan Wellman  
17 James Mark  
18 Shaun McKee   1
19 Stuart Miller  
20 Ian Mole  
21 A.N. Other  
22 Danny Pybus  
23 Charlie Richards  
24 Dan Horner  
25 James Smith  
26 Griff Stevens  
27 Richard Storey  
28 Gin Trewhella  
29 Matt Warren  
30 Joe Whittle  
31 Nick Woodward  
32 Matt Wright  
33 Gori Yahaya  
34 Tom Kellaway  
35 Gasim Himedan  
36 Will Sargent  
37 Dan Taylor  
38 Travis Charles  
39 Nick Farrer  
40 Anthony Yousefian  
41 Archie Hamilton  
42 Daniel West  
43 Luke James  
44 A.N. Other  
45 A.N. Other  
46 A.N. Other  
47 A.N. Other  
48 A.N. Other  
49 A.N. Other  
50 A.N. Other  
51 A.N. Other  
52 A.N. Other  
53 A.N. Other  
54 A.N. Other  
55 A.N. Other  
56 A.N. Other