Clapham Rovers

Match Report

Match Report - 13 Oct 2013, Clapham Rovers Clapham Rovers lost to FC Lonsdale

Kewy here’s my match report.

I collected £12.50 off their team and paid the ref £35. There was a £47.50 cash balance after this as apparently Jim isn’t paying subs this year because of all the new kit he’s forked out on. Remember that you owe me £43.75 from the Fez bar tab though, so maybe I should just buy you a pint next time I see you? Gaz said that he will transfer you £10.

Clapham Rovers ‘A’ 1 – FC Lonsdale 2 (FC Lonsdale advance 5-2 on aggregate)

The first sign that all was not as it should be was when I pulled up to collect 3 Rovers on Sunday morning only to find two individuals emerge, one of which was a bounding drunken Horse who bundled on top of me and gave me a booze breathed smooch, while whispering that he “missed me” following whatever lecherous escapades he had been up to a mere couple of hours before. This was quickly followed by the knowledge that he had engulfed 3kg of jelly babies in the past week that were supposed to be our half time energy snacks for the remainder of the season as he ensued to babble utter nonsense for the journey to the ground.

Somehow the one absentee from earlier quickly became eight no shows as the 17 confirmed players that I was expecting to see resulted in only 9 attendees. Those that endured a similar experience last season playing with the same number in the ‘game that we do not speak’ may have had that déjà vu feeling, but it is was obvious that the teaming rain had culled the softer side of the Rovers ranks as what we had left standing were 9 valiant warriors with a resilient attitude.

Against a team that we had lost to resoundingly twice already this season the first half performance by Rovers was one of monumental proportions that the legends of Sparta would be proud. Adopting an unusual 3-4-1 formation, the best compliment I can pay the side was that the opposition didn’t realise that we only had 9 men until the 40min mark. We soaked up everything Lonsdale had to throw at us and counter attacked with real threat and intent.

Gaz had developed magnetic powers in an unfamiliar defensive role – impersonating a young Franz Beckenbauer, G was back to his commanding best, JD looked assured and composed in the Mamadou Sahko position, Gori and Alex put great shifts in on the flanks, Ed was sheer class in the middle of the park in what to my knowledge was his full debut, Grif worked tirelessly for the team up top and the less said about Horse’s goalkeeping probably the better.

We took the lead quite early when some good play by Grif in the channel was followed by a cut back to an advancing Ed at the edge of the box who whipped the ball first time with his right peg into the far corner, off the post. Think Steven Gerrard vs Luton or Marseilles. We continued to threaten as Ed also hit the bar from distance in what would have been another wonder goal. There were other promising moments, but often the final ball went slightly astray and Lonsdale were limited to one shot from distance that narrowly missed the target. All in all it was a terrific first half performance and everyone was raving about the new socks and the Bolton Wanderers signed match ball that may have contributed to the good play.

We didn’t play quite as well in the second half as bit of tiredness crept in and a few careless errors resulted in us inviting pressure and a series of corners. Horse making the transition from drunk to hungover came to punch one such corner into orbit, completely missed it and after a classic goal mouth scramble the ball ended up being deflected into the net. Another comedy airkick from our stand in goalie moments later saw the ball heading for the net, only for me to be on hand this time to clear off the line.

We probably got into the opposition box more in the second half and there was a good shout for a penalty turned down. Pressure didn’t really materialise into shots on target however and Lonsdale had now brought on a couple of pacy forwards who looked dangerous on the break. One such counter saw me try and track their forward who was sent clean through on goal, but running like Jamie Carragher in treacle I was easily outpaced and he cooly passed the ball into the side netting. This saw a change of keeper, with the newly nicknamed Gaz “The Wall” Lloyd taking to the sticks, so that Horse could have a canter up top, but time was not on our sides and we succumbed to a cup exiting defeat.

Although, there was certainly no shame in this performance and every single player put in a tremendous amount of effort, so well done everyone who played and kept fighting until the end.

The silver lining is that we now probably get a tilt at our favourite competition – The Bert Gaby Trophy.

M.O.M – Numerous contenders, would have been Gaz, but I’m still reeling that he won manager’s player 2012/3, so it’s got to go to Ed for a fine goal and a great debut.

Clapham Rovers Clapham Rovers 1 - 2 FC Lonsdale ()

Name Goals Details
1 Galo .  
2 Josh Austin  
3 Miles Birch  
4 Simon Birch  
5 Nathan Booker  
6 Tom Bownes  
7 Aaron Brookes  
8 Andy Carswell  
9 Ryan Cerenko  
10 Tom Cook  
11 James Daly  
12 Nathan Daly  
13 Dan Endara  
14 Juan Endara  
15 Jonathan Gallagher  
16 Chris Godwin  
17 Andy Hamilton  
18 Jon Hanna  
19 Dan Harley  
20 Simon Harris  
21 Adam Hill  
22 Jimmy Joyce  
23 Graeme Keenan  
24 David Kelly  
25 Howard Kelly  
26 Chris Kew  
27 Gaz Lloyd  
28 James Mark  
29 John Marquis  
30 James Mills  
31 David Murphy  
32 Niall O'Connor  
33 Chris Phillipson  
34 Danny Pybus  
35 Andy Rawson  
36 James Smith  
37 Robin Sosa  
38 Griff Stevens  
39 Matt Thomas  
40 Gin Trewhella  
41 Matt Warren  
42 Rob Williams  
43 Nick Woodward  
44 Adam Wright  
45 Matt Wright  
46 Gori Yahaya  
47 Ibrahim Al-Souss  
48 Alex Akosile  
49 Billy Jago  
50 J Thomson  
51 Omar Hallouda  
52 Mahmoud Itani  
53 Jordan Oldfield  
54 Ed Gallagher   1
55 Rob Mobsby  
56 A.N. Other