Clapham Rovers

Miles Birch profile

  • Whether Miles plays in midfield or defence, you can expect exactly the same; A tough, committed, unforgiving customer who tackles anything that moves and who (fairly) mows down opponents like an Uzi at Clay Pigeon Shooting. As far as I can gather his strength and stamina comes from cigarettes because I don't smoke and I don't have those two attributes in my locker. I'm glad to have him registered to Clapham Rovers for all these reasons and also because following the infamous 'Rob Fowler' incident, he evidently can't remember a ringer name when given to him. Now that he's fully registered, i'm glad that all he has to concentrate on is giving the opposition a hard time because he does that bloody well and they definitely don't like it up em,' Miles Birch style.

Performance history
Season 2014/15190000
Season 2013/14170000
Season 2012/2013190000
Season 2011/2012180000
Season 2010/11220000