Clapham Rovers

Nick Woodward profile

  • Nick Woodward has followed in the illustrious footsteps of players recruited by Dan 'The Hitman' Harley using his cunning ruse of interviewing them for a job at Davis and Gibbs. There was Jason, the 6 foot 2 man, who arrived wearing astro turf boots on a wet pitch, could control a ball further than most people can kick it and had to be substituted after 45 minutes before he embarrassed himself any further doing his bambi on ice impression. There was also a 5 foot 4, 21 year old who was a special little player but was sacked from Davis and Gibbs for consistently turning up late for work and who was never seen or heard of again. With Nick, Clapham Rovers are 3rd time lucky. Like Thomas Hitzlesperger, he uses his left foot to great effect, smashing in goals, free kicks and corners from all areas. If Thomas the Kraut is called 'Die Hammer,' then Mr Woodward must be called 'The Sledgehammer' such is the ferocity of his left boot. His dribbling leaves opponents like they've just seen a naked picture of Susan Boyle (running scared,) and his will to win is never in doubt. As Harry Redknapp would say, 'he's triffic.'

Performance history
Season 2020/2120000
Season 2019/2082000
Season 2018/19161010
Season 2016/17100000
Season 2015/16185000
Season 2014/15190000
Season 2013/14172000
Season 2012/2013194000
Season 2011/2012186000
Season 2010/111817000